There is a trend, mostly among the fairer sex of our American society. It is the trend of love easily won, the trend of trust easily won, and if you will - the trend of a heart easily won.
We're broken. We're all broken, this much I know. But for women reading this, I have a question - what are you so afraid of? Over and over again in our Christian culture we see girls who are far too willing to surrender their love (holy lust may be a better term), their trust, and their hearts to boys who have not yet done enough to prove they either desire or deserve it.
You hear the sad stories, heck, not a week goes by without you hearing them:
Everyone else knew [insert thing here] about him, but he never seemed that way to me. We started dating and were together for a couple months (a couple years?), and when we broke up, I realized it was a relationship I never should have been in.
From my stand point, very few things terrify me as much as the movement by Christian girls in our society to be too fast in giving their hearts away. Even in my own experience I've seen this over and over. You like a guy, he likes you, and suddenly, you completely skip any logical or biblical step, and you've invested all you have in him. A while later, regardless of exactly what time frame it is, things don't work out and you're crushed when the aforementioned issue has torn your relationship apart.
And you're hurt. And he's hurt. And your friends are hurt. And if I saw it happen - I'm hurt. Because once again someone very dear to me has thrown herself at a dating relationship with all she has, and it has fallen to pieces, blown up in her face, and wounded her as deeply as anything I've ever seen wound her.
Why did this happen? How do we fix it? The approach that gets taken is find someone who is better on the surface, that is more caring, and repeat the process all over again until the dating relationship reaches a conclusion - either marriage or another crushing break up.
The issue is, women of God, you're missing the point. The way that you're dating doesn't create several dating relationships that come to an end. It creates an (nearly) endless series of miniature divorces where a piece of your heart is lost and never returns. How can you live like that? How could a good God with a good plan put us in a situation to have that happen over and over again? The answer? He didn't.
Check out the Song of Solomon - "I will hide my heart in the cleft of the Rock" When you read through this series of verses you see that you don't give your heart away over and over in dating relationships to men who are pursuing YOU. You give it away when a man is pursuing God and in pursuit of God discovers a treasure he never imagined. Love and trust easily given to a man based on his pursuit of you is destined to fail, and destined to hurt - even if it ends in marriage it will never be what God intended for you. This might read to you like I'm saying you have to be cold and disconnected and untouchable - that's not true. I am saying though that a love easily given is a love easily wasted. And I am saying that if your focus is on God, he holds your heart. And if his focus is on God, then God holds his heart as well. Whatever a human being takes before God, a human being is destined to destroy - test it on your own life and see that it isn't true. Surrender your heart to the one who should truly hold it, let Him decide when he chooses another's hand to assist, and it will save you more pain and draw you nearer to God than you'll ever know.
There is another trend, mostly among the uh... not so fair sex of our American society. It is a trend of minimum effort, a trend of misplaced desires, and a trend that threatens the very nature of the Christian man's core. I'm going to spend the next week of my life asking some pointed questions about it, and muddling through it, and maybe (just maybe) trying to write an article about it. Still a little too big to handle today, and I just spit out a lot right there - so next week.